Yeah...pretty much

Hello Hello!

I got a text message from my husband today just telling me that he thinks I am an amazing Mom.  That put me on top of the world.  My husband makes me want to be a better person in general.  He just has that effect on me.

I came home from work to a super sweet little boy (who lost his first tooth last night) and a big man who were kicked back and enjoying some bonding time.  Nothing sweeter.

Looking at the two of them made me think...yeah, I am pretty much loving my life. 

Girlfriends

I have been thinking about my circle of friends, how it has changed over time, how it really changes day by day. 

I feel guilty about how much I neglect my girlfriends.  I really and truly want to catch up for coffee or a workout or dinner or to let the kiddo's play, but the actually doing of it just never seems to work out. 

I am sad about that.  It is totally my fault.  Texting & Facebook just does not cut it.  As important as girlfriends are in my life, I need to step it up. 

am i doing 1/2 or 2x as much?

I have registered for a 1/2 marathon in the fall.  13.1 miles.  I am going to truly be testing my relationship with running.  I love to run, but 10K's seem to be the sweet distance for me.  Most of my runs have been 10K's.  We will see how it goes.  I am not going to lie, I am nervous.  I have run 8.1 miles so far in training and after mile 6 I just get soooooooo bored. 

My neighbor, on the other hand, is doing a full Iron Man race in a month.  His training runs are 15 -18 miles (plain crazy!).  We were talking the other day about his run portion of the race, which is 26.2 miles.  "I am only doing 1/2 that and I am terrified!" was my thought.  When I walked away from him and his goals and determinations and his crazy abilities I felt like 1/2.  I am only doing 1/2 of that.  I felt like my "big deal" 1/2 marathon in that fall was nothing.

I am thinking about it now though (after some much needed yoga) and realized that often times perspective is truly the key to how we are looking at things and, as a result of that, how we are feeling about things.  I may be doing 1/2 of his distance, I am actually doing 2x (plus) my distance.

Don't get me wrong, my neighbor is a rock star and while his ability to do those races might amaze me...it is not something that is for me.  I am a 10K runner, who is pushing myself to do a 1/2 so that the feeling of accomplishment, dedication, want and thankfulness for a strong body can rush through me when I cross the finish line.  I want to check it of of my list.  Will I ever do another one...who knows, but for know I am choosing to look at it as I am not doing 1/2, I am 2X as much as I have done before.

Go me!!!

being fearful

I want to work on that...the being fearful thing. 

I listened to a really wonderful sermon today about becoming complacent in our faith.  It pretty much rocked, and got me to ask myself some deep questions.  Andrew challenged us to really connect and to be fearful, it was a tough message.  He pressed us to ask ourselves if we are really open to God working through us, are we seeking him out, or are we just going through the motions?  He asked for us to not ever get too comfortable with our faith and to always know that our glory is in God - not in ourselves.  To live fearfully, consistently fearfully. 

We can worship the Lord, but in the end have we come to that moment where we know Jesus and he knows us?  I am not too sure of this fearful thing...and I want to get it right.  I want to live fearfully.  I am humble to the Lord, and ever so thankful for Gods grace.  But am I fearful?  I am praying on it.

finding my happy

finding my happy

with myself...
with my family...
with my friends...
with work...
with exercise...
with eating...
with my life...

what a journey. 

i finally feel like i belong in my skin and in my life.  i am enjoying it, and crying over it, and laughing about it...but most importantly living it.  there is a balance to everything.  it is amazing what happens when you truly just turn it over...

here is a little bit of what is going on with me lately...

• i am psyched to be going home to the green mountain state with my little man for a week.  i can't wait to see my family and watch them love all over my baby!
• i have been running...and loving it!  i registered for a 1/2 marathon in the fall, it will feel good to check it off of my "list" but i have learned in this training that i think that my heart is with the 10K distance.  anything longer then that is a real challenge for me, for my mind.  it bores my brains out!!!!  i give it up to all of you long distance (like marathon) runners...you are rockstars!
• i took my new mt. bike (the best mother's day gift ever!) out with my boys.  i named her "lola" and then wrecked on her - we were both scratched up but it validated that i am still at least a little bit tough!
• i am committing to yoga every day - even if it is just a few minutes...it makes a huge difference.  i love it!  it does crazy things for those tight runner hips.
• i am loving my Church...Jesus has stolen my heart and led me to a much better life.  He is the "it" that was missing before...no doubt!
• i am making killer salads every day for lunch - yum!  my son thinks my husbands favorite food is "Mexican" and that mine is "Lettuce"...that just might be true : )
• i am drinking a Monster Zero every day.  they are fantastic!  don't judge.

a good life is filled with love.  Love God and Love each other!  the world is a much better place when all of that is going on.  i promise!

XOXO
jess

unconditional love

that is what God has for me.  it is amazing how loyal and loving He has been to me...even when i have strayed.  what a beautiful lesson in unconditional love.  that, no matter our life story, we are all His children and as soon as we are willing and wishing we will be welcomed by him with open arms, unconditionally.

what an amazing thing to be witness to His grace.  i am lucky.  i am loved...unconditionally.

and just for fun...here is my little man...loving every bit of summer coming on!

choices

i am feeling heavy, both figuratively and literally.  my body just feels slow, thick and weighed down.  my heart feels full of sweet wonderful life, but is also feeling some stresses.

i feel like there is so much happening right now.  there are some really great things and some things that are challenging to me.  i am feeling pressures, and lots of them. 

i am also reminding myself that these are the moments when i must choose faith.  i must choose to believe that the plan is bigger. 

a sweet friend of mine made a comment today about being so full of love that you are ready to burst but needing a good cry at the same time.  that is where i am right now and you know what...it is the best of both worlds.

because i have the choice, i'll take faith...and a good cry.