I read once that you will only allow someone to abuse you as much as you would abuse yourself. For a long time I thought that statement was crazy, but now I finally get it. The more I fill myself with love (for myself and others), the less abuse I am willing to tolerate (from myself and others.) When I disrespected myself, I was willing to let others do the same. My threshold for abuse was high, because I did not love myself like I truly deserved. My ability to love others unconditionally was also hindered my my inability to love myself.
It was when I realized that God loves me in an unconditional way, that I might (as a child of God) actually deserve that love. It is by his grace that I am learning these things. I am learning to love myself in an unconditional way and in the process am willing to accept unconditional love (from especially those people that I allow close to my heart.) Beyond all of that, my ability to give love to others without condition has strengthened beyond measure.
This does not mean that there is no room in my life for those people who may not show unconditional love but it does mean that I set firm boundaries with them. I try to have patience, because those are often the people who need love the most. These boundaries are the same boundaries that I have set with myself, and reflect the same dream that God has for me...and that dream is for us to accept nothing but love, because we deserve love. And when we give love, we get love.
So this is what I ask of you...go and give love (try it on yourself first) and what you get in return will simply blow your mind!
(Let me disclaim that in the very unfortunate situation where setting boundaries and giving love does not work with someone who is abusive/conditional, I hand it over to God and walk away because that is the healthiest thing for me to do - and that is me loving myself.)
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